Working From Home - Day 1

It's March, and it's snowing out. We just passed the spring equinox, but when does the weather really care about that?
This is the first time I've ever worked from home. Every job I've had, including this one, has been about working with people. But this is my new normal for the next weeks, maybe months.

The whole thing about this pandemic fills me with a combination of anxiety, dread, and humor. We've done this before, of course. There have been other pandemics. Some not quite as global, but that was because we were a less global species then. And we experiences them in terms of our families, work, communities. Now we are experiencing it globally - our social media feeds showing the outbreak from all over. I tend to think of humans as never learning anything from their past, because let's face it, we don't. I'm sure there were folks in Europe and the US during the Spanish Flu epidemic walking around thinking it's not that bad. It's nothing that I don't expect from my species, unfortunately. Still frustrating, of course. People so hell bent on being right, on not bending from their normal, that they'll scream from the rafters about conspiracies, "I' don't care" or whatever nonsense they make up as justification. See - climate change denial, anti-vaxers, etc. There's a lot of stupid, and common sense isn't very common.

For me, my biggest fear right now is losing my parents. Fuck my normal life - it's blah to begin with, and I've been fighting for the last 3.5 years to find a new normal anyway. I'll figure it out. But this could kill my parents, and I'm not ready for that. Mom is fairly healthy for 76, save for the ubiquitous type 2 diabetes. My Dad is a mess, including low-grade emphysema.  My gut tells me if he gets sick, he'll die. And everything about his death will be on me - estate, cleaning up his stuff, etc.

So now, at the end of the work day (I've been adding to this post since this morning) I learn that one person at my job has tested positive. Now, it's a big place. And there's a higher chance that we did not interact than there is of interaction. But I don't know what to do with myself. I need to go out and get cigarettes for Dad tomorrow. We usually spend one night a week together, and I've been wearing a mask to go over. Now what? They are tracking back all the places this person was the past two weeks (they haven't been on-site for 8 days) and contacting ppl who may have come in contact. When will I know? And, of course, I immediately have tightness in my chest, because that's how my anxiety comes through.
I'm a reasonable person, when I want to be. I'm trying to remain calm and logical about the whole mess. And yet, I also have pretty terrible anxiety. Which rears it's head throughout the day just to keep me on my toes.

Sigh. It's gonna be a long, fucking year.

Good timing - NOAA webinar

Was picking through bits of the NOAA.gov site when I came across info on a talk happening tomorrow on the Coast & geodetic Survey! Why is this good timing? Because I was just hunting down info about the two Great Uncles who worked for the GS.



Out of the Vault: Discover the Coast and Geodetic Survey, the U.S.'s first science agency
Date: Wednesday, February 8, 2016 at 1pm-3pm ET; book and history talk (and webinar) 2PM-2:45PM ET
Out of the Vault flyer (PDF)
Out of the Vault poster (PDF)
Event/Reservation info: This event is free and open to the public. members of the public interested in attending the exhibit, and anyone wishing to tune into the webinar, should RSVP to Library Reference (Please use the subject line: "RSVP Out of the Vault"). A government-issued photo ID is required for those attending in person.
Speaker: Albert "Skip" Theberge, NOAA Central Library
Abstract: Discover the Coast and Geodetic Survey by viewing and examining rare and unique books and items that tell the story of the U.S.'s first science agency. Treasures on display will include: 17th century land surveying texts, early topographic maps, and treatises on nautical surveying.
Enjoy a book and history talk with Skip Theberge, 2pm-2:45pm in person (and via webinar) to learn more about the collection -- and come any other time from 1pm-3pm to browse the historic items.
About the Speaker: Skip Theberge, acting head of reference at the NOAA Central Library, retired from NOAA Corps in 1995 after 27 years of primarily hydrographic surveying and seafloor mapping. He headed the NOS Ocean Mapping Section in the late 1980s during the EEZ mapping program. Since retirement from NOAA Corps he has remained active in the ocean mapping community having served for 12 years on the Advisory Committee for Undersea Features of the United States Board on Geographic Names and for three years on its international counterpart. He was part of the NOAA science team that helped design the Sant Ocean Hall of the Smithsonian Institution Museum of Natural History. He is the history editor of Hydro International magazine and the author of over 80 papers dealing with the history of hydrographic and geodetic surveying, seafloor mapping, and various aspects of oceanography.
For remote access: Audio: Dial toll-free US 866-833-7307, participant code is 8986360#. Webcast at www.mymeetings.com Under "Participant Join", click "Join an Event", then add conf no: 742656968. Passcode is brownbag. Be sure to install the correct plug-in (or run the plug-in as a temporary application) for WebEx before the seminar starts.

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I knew they had worked for the survey. I even had a photo of my Uncle Tab from the NOAA archives on the website. But I'd come to a confusion upon seeing my Uncle Harrold's occupation in the 1940 census as "Lightkeeper."  Shortly afterward he'd joined the USCG, so I immediately thought about a light house gig. But then I took a better look at the record and it said USC & GS - and I figured it out. And lightkeeper is one of the guys on the survey team.

Thanks the archives freely available on the NOAA website, I even found other references to projects they were on, and when they received recognition for 30 years of service.

The US Coast & geodetic survey is basically the first sceitifc agency the US created. It led in to what we now know as USGS and NOAA. Also, the surveying work they did is the basis for the current GPS system around the globe. My uncle Tab worked in states, as well as in Ethiopia. I hope I can dig up more about where they both worked. Before them, their father and grandfather were also surveyors in Kentucky. And even though my Gramps didn't work for the survey more than maybe a month, my dad ended up studying geology and meteorology. Some things just keep int he family, I guess!

Ethiopia, Circa 1960  (photo credit: NOAA.gov Photo Library)

Memories of the road traveled in family history

        Ok, so Muzings seems to be about genealogy now. Actually, I was thinking about a return to blogging about thoughts and such. I need some outlets and am tired of Facebook and Twitter and Tumblr as venues for it.

      So, today on Facebook a memory came up from six years ago - a photo of my Great-Grandfather, Henry Athing. When I'd posted it we had just figured out who it was of by comparing it to other records. I knew very little about him. In that six years I have learned SO MUCH about him, his family, and his life. I've even been able to meet cousins in that branch that I didn't know about and grow my family. More recently, records from Germany have become available online that have allowed me to push his history back to the old country and learn even more. I have also learned a lot about the process of genealogical research, continued to get better at it, and realized just how little I still know. But it's always about the journey, right? There is no being "done" with your family tree.

      Henry Athing was born Heinrich Karl August Athing in Oldenburg, Lower Saxony, Germany November 30, 1880. His father, Friedrich, was a baker. In a few years his family would move to the United States and settle in Brooklyn, NY. They actually came over twice - in about 1887, then again in 1892. Not sure yet why they returned to Germany during that time.

The Athing family would become part of the social elite in Brooklyn, with Friedrich (now Fred) and wife Louise being a part of a Baker's Association as well as political associations. Their parties, weddings, and other events are well documented in the social columns of the Brooklyn newspapers of the time. Henry did not immediately follow in his father's footsteps of being a baker with his own business, and worked as a clerk as a young man. In abt 1900 he was arrested for collaborating with others to rob the insurance agency he worked for. He was sent to a juvenile detention center for three months in Elmira, NY. His case even made the NY TImes!

Eventually he would open his own cafe and saloon, though still not really being a baker, he was known as Bakes. The stories include that he and his wife continued to run their saloon through prohibition.

He married Theresa Fox in 1910. She was the daughter of Irish immigrants who grew up at the other end of the social spectrum in the Irish tenements. She was an orphan by the time she married Henry and she kept her siblings very close to her. Together with Henry, Theresa became a social and political force in Brooklyn, remaining as such until she died in 1964.

Henry died in 1945. He left his wife and two children - my grandmother, Doris, and a son Wilbert (he hated that name and went by Wilbur - who can blame him?). Theresa, l think, loved him very much, despite her hard outer persona. She would put 'In Memoirams' in the newspaper every year after he died. Doris named her eldest son after him.

I still don't know exactly why Henry's parents came to America. But they did, and now I'm here, so I'm glad of it. I do, however, feel really bad that I am so terrible at baking since it looks like my family has a long history of it. I have recently found that Henry's grandfather - Heinrich - was also a baker by trade. I have also added another sibling to the list I already knew, and older sister, and a number of siblings for his father. There are records of other Athings in Germany through the 1920s and 30s that I think are related to Friedrich through his siblings or aunts and uncles, and I hope to track that line down a little more.

Revolutionary War and James Burden

I've begun thinking about my ancestors in the Revolutionary War. In two lines on my mother's side the records have been a bit easier to locate and the stories less shrouded in anecdotal nonsense. But on my father's side it has been much harder. There is a very hard dead end at my 6th great grandfather - years worth of genealogists have not been able to discover his parentage, proof of his birth, marriages, etc. He is said to have fought in the Virginia militia during the Revolution, but I have yet to find records of this. Plus the name is generic, so records I find are not necessarily about him.

Today while looking I came upon a number of letters to the pension office about  a John Burdin, who could be his son. They talk about a man of such a "weak and ignorant" nature that his mates in the military tricked him in to desertion by telling him his time was up. Or they tricked him by telling him after he'd left that he still had another year left. The whole series of letters are quite funny, and I wish that stories of James's wholly stupid son had survived and gone in to the books. These are the interesting bits of genealogy! Not just lists of facts or the info to get you a DAR membership.
Granted, I still don't know if this is who I think it is, and it will take more digging, but it's interesting nonetheless. It will always be the STORIES that keep me searching the family tree bramble bush.

Remembering those you've never known: Getting attached to your ancestors

My GGreat Grandmother Mary came to this country in 1871. She was 17years old. She came from Ireland, when so many people were leaving their families and all they knew in the hopes of having a better life. She brought her three younger siblings. She died in 1906 of cancer. She'd been married, widowed, and had three children. They were still poor. She was buried in Holy Cross Cememtery in Brooklyn, with no headstone.

I've become a little obsessed with Mary over the years. She's been such a mystery. When I guessed at a death listing on one of the online indexes and ordered it from the municipal archives (at $15 a shot) it was a Hail Mary (pun intended). When it came and I saw that it really was her - right address, right mother's name - I danced around the room. I'd found her. At least, I'd found her death certificate. I knew when and how, and I knew where she was buried.

Recently someone contacted me on Ancestry.com about Mary. She was a volunteer who added information to FindAGrave.com. She would search through Ancestry to fill out info, and she had added memorials for not only Mary but some other relatives. She had not only the cemetery, but what I had not yet gotten - the internemtn info, the plot number. So happy, I tried to plan when I could go visit Holy Cross. Would her actually birthday be listed? Was she buried with her husband? I don't know when he died - he's been more a mystery than Mary, because he died so early.  Another leap of faith, I put in a request for a photo - to those lovely people who will go to cemeteries and phtograph headstones for others. And it was answered! And - there is none. Jsut a wee flag marking where the plot is.  Heart-sink.

In researching this family in the past months I've made great strides. The family that Mary's daughter married in to was a socially connected German one, so I have been reading their lives through the Brooklyn Daily Eagle. But this has also pointed me to something else - the differences between a successful German business owner, and poor Irish immigrant. And I realize that, of course, in 1906 the family would not have had the money to add a headstone. In fact, I can only assume that a local charity helped bury the woman. So she wouldn't be interred with her husband. She would be just placed where the cemetery could put her. 

Four years after she died her daughter (my Great Grandmother) married that boy from the German immigrant bussiness-owning, socially connected family. It was likely not a happy event for said family, considering. And that daughter took her social placement and used to become a very connected woman years later, in social AND political circles. And when she and her husband owned their own home, her widowed sister and widower brother came to live with her. She took care of her family, not that she financially could.

So I have become quite attached to Mary.  I've come to love her, even though she died 77years before  was born, before she could imagine my birth. She was poor. When she married she couldn't write her own name on her marriage certificate. She died poor. But her daughter died almost wealthy. Her descendents live comfortable lives. Two GGreat granddaughters are college educated. Would she be proud of us? Would she be happy knowing this? More important than all of that, to me, is that she is remembered. She's gone, but not forgotten. I thought about putting a small memorial on her grave. Not a headstone (I am broke), but a small metal marker that says she is there, she is not forgotten. I called the cemetery, but learned that it is impossible for me. To put anything there, I would have to pay thousands of back annual care, likely to 1906. I would have to buy from them a granite memorial, flat or upright. It would take thousands. So I can't. I did learn that the person who registered the grave was a B. Burns - which may be her sister. Not sure, but it's something. I still want to go there, to visit her. I am not religious, and I don't believe in spirits or afterlife, but I still want to just go and visit. Because she's there.

I know who you were, Mary Burns Fox. I wish I knew more, knew your personality, but I know that you lived and died. And I will always remember, and I will tell your story the best that I can. I am here because you got on that ship. I am grateful for that.

Mary Burns

b. Mar 1854 - Curragh, Kildare, Ireland

To John Burns and Rose Hyde

Married- John Fox on 7 October 1875 - Brooklyn, NY

d. 26 October 1906 - Brooklyn ,NY

buried - Holy Cross Cemetery

Gone But Not Forgotten

Genealogy - denial and acceptance of the past and our ancestors

Genealogy is not new. But recently it's become much more popular, probably due to the ease of getting in to it with digital collections. That popularity led to two shows on television that go through celebrities' ancestry - Who Do You Think You Are  (which began on BBC, then in the US on NBC and now TLC), and PBS's Finding Your Roots. I think it's great. Genealogy is about history, research, ephemera, and remember the past in ways that are personal. It tells the story of individuals, and really, that's what history inevitably is - stories. Through our obsession with the lives of celebrities we can promote a love of history and an interest in genealogy. The more people who want to research, the more money and effort goes in to making resources and documents available to us. People can take pride and an active part in their past, and draw their family together.  

So then Ben Affleck decided he didn't like all the details about his ancestry and this happened: 

PBS is suspending Finding Your Roots because of the Ben Affleck incident

I really appreciate that PBS are responding to this. I appreciate that, even though this is an unimportant incident (as opposed to spreading wrong info on the News Hour), they are treating it as a violation of what they feel is the right way to do things. Everyone involved, including Gates, should get the lashing on it. The truth is the truth, not what you want it to be.

Families lie and manipulate the truth about their past ALL THE TIME. We like to idealize the past and hide the skeletons. Look at any high school history book. It makes genealogy that much harder for trying to piece out the bullshit. I've seen my own family refuse to acknowledge the failings of dead relatives. I've found census records with my family blatantly taking 10yrs off their ages (ahem, GGrandma Athing). Books about my ancestry have left out family members because the informants didn't like them. I approached my KY line expecting to find slave owners. Just because your family did shit in the past does not mean that you are a bad person. You accept it, you accept it was wrong (hello ppl clinging desperately to your Confederate battle flags...) and you MOVE THE HELL ON.

I am not a bad person just because an ancestor may have had a child with his step-daughter. Nor will I hide this fact or be embarrassed by it. Who cares? I had ancestors fight for both the Union and the Confederacy. Though census records show my family (at least my direct line) didn't own slaves, it was probably just because they were too poor. I can't imagine that they weren't just as racist as the rest of the South. Not sure yet if the colonial line had any. They might have, after they started having money and influence. And that's ok, too. It's history. It is what it is.

I don't believe in keeping skeletons in the closet. I need that space for shoes. And those who know me know I decorate with bones.

So chill, Ben. Get over it.

Brahms!

I just realized that before my post in February, I last posted about Brahms in 2011.  I was, at the time, preparing the Brahms Requiem for two concerts.  Well, I am singing it once again.  Just a couple weeks away and so it's that time of concert prep where it's in my head ALL DAY LONG.  And I am perfectly ok with that.

The German Requiem is different from most requiems that we're used to.  It's in German, not the familiar Latin text.  And it's not all plodding and sad.  There are certainly quite, dainty moments, but there are multiple fugues and daring, blaring, exciting exultations and declarations.  It's not a sleep piece.  It's beautiful and moving and exciting.  I love it.  I love singing it.  Throughout the past couple months, just rehearsing it has elevated my mood.  When my mind couldn't quit a funk while singing parts of it, the second movement fugue actually cleared my head of the emotional fog. This is why I believe that music is mighty.  Fugues have power over us!  I go home from rehearsal smiling, even when I'm so tired I just want to sleep for days.

If I ever meet Brahms in the great beyond, I will hug him for creating this joy.